Randhir didn't know what was happening. He didn't know why or when or what he was doing. He just knew that he had to get out of bed that morning.
Sanyukta was lying on his chest, fast asleep. He kissed her forehead lightly and he felt a tear fall from his eye. Getting up quickly, he grabbed his clothes and went to his bedroom to shower and get dressed.
He couldn't stay. He had to leave.
Once he got ready, he packed his bags and had taken them to the front entrance. Before he left, he looked up the stairs where Sanyukta was still fast asleep.
He took a deep breath and climbed the stairs and went into her bedroom. She was lying there, sleeping peacefully.
Randhir walked up to her and moved hair away from her eyes, to get one last look at her beautiful face. His heart broke when he remembered that he had to leave her, that he had to leave this, because he didn't trust himself to be around her.
He didn't trust himself to keep her happy. He didn't trust himself to be faithful to her. He just didn't trust himself.
Randhir leaned towards her and kissed her between her eyebrows slowly. Then he planted a soft kiss on her lips and stroked her cheek lovingly. She stirred a little but he started to stroke her hair, which made her breathe deeply again.
"I'm sorry Sanyukta," he murmured. "I'm really sorry. I'm a criminal... your criminal."
He kissed her forehead once again and stood up, wiping his eyes with his fingers.
"If this path is circular, then I'll find myself back here... but it will happen when the circumstance is right," he said to her softly. "Until then... just be happy, or try to be - please. Because if I stay, I know I will cause you a thousandfold more pain than you would have felt if I had gone."
He bent down and kissed her on the lips again... it was addicting, he didn't want to stop.
"I told you the truth last night," he continued. "I do love you. I never realized it, nor had I accepted it. I love you a lot... but this love doesn't restore any trust in myself. I don't want to hurt you, I don't think I can stand causing you anymore pain. I'm sorry."
He turned around and walked to the doorway. He turned around, to take one last look at the girl he loved... the only girl he ever loved, and certainly, the only girl he would ever love. She was lying down, her eyes closed, her chest heaving up and down.
Randhir turned around again and walked down the stairs to the main entrance. He kept his keys on the kitchen table before he picked up his bags, and left the house into the cold morning, his destination unknown.
What Randhir hadn't seen was, as soon as he left Sanyukta's room, a teardrop had rolled down her cheeks, having heard everything. She had been awake, but hadn't opened her eyes... only because she didn't want to make this harder for him... only because even at the time of separation, she could think of him, and only of him.
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Ye Hai Mohabbatein
O Humnava Tum Dena Saath Mera
Cricket
