Daksha did hate Shiva-he was supposed to be very arrogant by nature...was never supposed to like Shiva due to his way of life-Vairagi,or Aghori way of Life,which was against his Daksha Samhita
as Far as Sati knowing or not knowing she was an Shakti that is something what was never told..
same goes with the chronology of the events...
unlike the Ramayana and the Mahabharata which are well documented stories,hence having chronological correctness..
However Mahadev-Sati story doesn't have a Proper source that mentions the chronology or the details of such events,various Purana s and Scriptures are referred to which have the same story narrated differently...i guess that makes the story harder to tell!
and of course the story has been twigged a bit to make it a little longer,and more story like,of what i have read the Shiv Sati story is actually very short!